


It's the Stone Age Again, Baby

by JayTDawgzone9999



Category: Dr. STONE (Anime), Dr. STONE (Manga), Space ☆ Dandy
Genre: Alien Hunting, Crack, Minor Violence, Outer Space, black holes, don't take this seriously, space, technical problems, technology problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:07:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21666424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JayTDawgzone9999/pseuds/JayTDawgzone9999
Summary: Dandy and co. are broke and bored yet again, hoping to bag a sweet, sweet rare alien for some sweet, sweet cash (to take more trips to Boobies, of course) but when news of an interesting rumor reaches them, their boring day changes course in a very literal way.
Kudos: 2





	It's the Stone Age Again, Baby

"Be my, be my be my be my be my baby, be my baby,be my baby, be my be my be my be my baby, be my baby-" 

"Huh, I remember that part being different." Dandy mused, Meow nodding in agreement as Dandy went to put another tape in the boombox. "I must have grabbed a live version by mistake." 

"I remember that song sucking a lot less back in the day." Meow added, helping Dandy look for another tape. "Also-" 

Meow was interrupted when the Aloha Oe's warning system let them know they were running low on fuel again. 

"Aw, crap, I re-filled the tank a week ago." Dandy griped, ignoring that the tape had stopped playing. 

_______

"We're too broke to need to re-fuel this much, especially with gas prices being this outrageous." Dandy complained while re-fueling the Aloha-Oe at a run down galactic gas station. 

"Well, if you two stopped slacking off so much, maybe we'd catch more aliens." QT mentioned, delivering a dose of much-needed facts to the Elvis Presley/Johnny Bravo hybrid alien-hunting himbo and the alien-hunting space cat that he was forced to call his traveling companions. 

"Hey, don't you know all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy?" Dandy offered. 

"Who's Jack? Never heard of him." QT asked without a shred of irony, the seriousness of his inquiry so painfully obvious that Meow and Dandy fell over in the most dramatic way possible, unable to process that QT had really said what he just said. 

"Ow...hey, wait, what's this?" Meow said when a piece of paper the breeze blew over landed on his face, picking it up. 

"Hey, lemme see." Dandy said, snatching the paper out of Meow's paws. 

"New super rare alien discovered on planet Earth in the Milky Way galaxy. The strongest high school primate, possibly the most fearsome warrior to exist in the known universe. 100,000,000,000 woolong reward for capturing alive." QT read in a voice with the same level of enthusiasm one would normally have for something like watching paint dry. "Sounds like a complete hoax if you ask me. Remember that incident 3,700 years ago that turned everyone on the planet to stone?" There's no way-" 

"Strongest high school primate, eh?" Dandy thought, ridiculous visions of a cute, perky high school girl dancing in his equally ridiculous mind. "You know, I've never been to high school...." 

"Dandy, are you even paying attention?" QT asked. "If everyone on the surface was really petrified 3,700 years ago, there's no way a rare alien would be living there...." QT said, his tone growing more and more exasperated with each passing second he realized Dandy was still ignoring him. 

"That settles it: Meow, QT, we're going to high school!" Dandy yelled, slamming his hand on the warp drive button after re-fueling the Aloha-Oe and hauling Meow and QT inside. 

"Ugh, Dandy, were you even listening-woah!" QT yelled as the Aloha-Oe warped through space. 

"Heh heh, high school, here I come, baby!" Dandy yelled, ignoring the screams of his friends.

______

After a short but climatic journey through several galaxies, Dandy and Co. landed on the almost-forgotten backwoods planet known as Earth, not too worse for the wear, as luckily for Dandy, his hair did not, in fact, fall out. 

"Man, this is a weird place. It's so quiet." Meow said, looking around and sniffing the air, not really sure if he wanted to find any signs of life or not. 

"See, I told you, Dandy, all the people on this planet really did get petrified. There's no way we're gonna find that rare alien, or any other kinds of aliens, here." QT informed Dandy when he noticed a few statues lying around and no signs of life in the immediate area. 

"Ugh, I can't believe we fell for such a dumbass rumor." Dandy grumbled, pressing his palm to his forehead in frustration. "And to think I thought we might finally be able to break out of the poorhouse for once." 

"Uh, you were the only one who fell for it." Meow chimed in. 

"Yeah, Meow's right." QT added. "Only you would fall for such an obviously bogus rumor." 

"Hey, you guys are a real piece of work, you know that?" Dandy said. "Just because something sounds too good to be true doesn't mean it is too good to be true." Dandy said. "We've seen enough weird shit to know that reality is stranger than fiction, after all. And besides, would it kill you guys to have a little faith in your fearless leader?" 

"Yeah, that's cool and all, but the warp drive button's broken now." QT said, noticing a strange light flashing on the Aloha-Oe that only he bothered paying attention to. "So we're gonna need a lot more fuel if we wanna get back to the Tochigi galaxy, and I don't see any re-fueling stations around here. We used up most of the fuel we just bought warping here, in fact." 

Dandy, being the intrepid space adventurer that he was, refused to let a little something like a broken warp drive button get him down. He sat down on a large rock, rubbing all 12 of his brain cells together in a futile search for some kind of solution to solve their current dilemma. 

"Don't worry, guys, I got this, just put some faith in your fearless leader and we'll find a way out of here." Dandy declared, refusing to acknowledge that he had been wrong this time and not just because he really, really wanted to go to high school. 

"Yeah, and what would that be?" Meow asked, his voice halting as the last word left his mouth when he heard something on the horizon, raising his hackles in self-defense when his deepest, most basic instincts of self-preservation alerted him to a danger like nothing he had ever experienced before. 

When a figure with long hair could be seen running towards them on the horizon, Dandy shot up like a rocket, pumping his fist in the air when he noticed what he thought was a surprisingly tall, athletic looking girl in a dress frolicking in the woods. 

"Heh heh, looks like you two were wrong after all. Dandy can always spot a rare, exotic beauty when he sees one." Dandy declared with far more self-confidence than he had the right to.

"You say that about every girl." QT said. "You're not exactly picky." 

"Oh, hush, QT, what do you know of the fairer sex?" Dandy shot back, ignoring Meow who was on all fours hissing and growling, his fur standing straight up.

"More than you, actually." QT said as the mysterious figure on the horizon moved closer. "Like the fact that that's not a girl." 

"Huh-" By the time Dandy turned in the direction of the figure approaching them, it was too late, and before the trio of alien hunters could do anything, Dandy felt a kick make contact with his solar plexus, the immense force of the kick sending Dandy, Meow, and QT hurtling back into space before they could even scream. 

"Hey, Tsukasa, what the hell was that?" Hyoga asked him, looking around before he noticed the spaceship lying in an open patch of land in between some of the huge trees that the forest they were in was composed of, Homura trailing close behind him. 

"No idea, but I can't think of anyone who would leave that particular sort of present behind besides Senku or one of his little friends." Tsukasa said, eyeing the spaceship with obvious distaste. "If he thinks he's going to spread capitalism to space, he's going to regret it." 

"Eh, do you really think Senku could have built that in such a short time?" Hyoga asked, while Homura climbed on it, deciding to get a closer look at it, not actually caring but also feeling like he should say something because otherwise there would be an awkward silence. 

"Well, I don't know anyone else who could build something like that, so it would either have to be him or someone he taught to do that. Either way, I saw the people who came out of it before they saw me so I doubt they'll be bothering us again. Only friends of Senku would be dumb enough to disturb this forest by landing a dirty, loud spaceship here after all." Tsukasa remarked as Homura, deciding she had seen everything that caught her eye, hopped off the spaceship, walking over to Hyoga. "Let's just get going for now, I got someone's ass to kick and gum to chew and there's no gum in this world." he added, giving Hyoga and Homura a nod as they began to follow him. 

______

"Ow...my solar plexus....." Dandy thought, floating in space with Meow and QT. "Guess I won't have to worry about gas for the Aloha-Oe after all..." his thoughts continued until he, Meow, and QT noticed the giant black hole right in front of them, their screams echoing nowhere besides their own minds as the mass of unconquerable gravity pulled them in its reality-warping embrace. 


End file.
